There are no more Tuesdays that come and go where I think I should have been ____ weeks pregnant today. Today is your due date and I realize that you might not have come today even if you had gone full term, but I feel like today is another birthday for you anyways. Last night Mommy cried for you. Mommy cried at the thought of not being able to watch you grow up. Every time I see a little girl I think of you and can't help but feel sad that I won't be able to take you to fun places with me and Daddy. I know you would have had SO much fun with us. I know instead of thinking about the sad things Mommy should be thinking about the good things. We got 18 wonderful, most AMAZING days with you and I will ALWAYS cherish them forever. Today Daddy and I were talking about you and we both agreed that you had the cutest little nose ever! By the way, you got that from your mama! :) ...Today we went to see you at your grave..but you already know that! I brought the things that your aunties and uncle made you and it was SO cute. I took a picture!
Oh and by the way Daddy and I designed your stone! We sent the design to the sketch artists (or whatever you wanna call 'em) and they are going to send us a copy of what it would look like and then we have to approve...it's going to be a looong process but don't worry it will get there! I can't wait to see the finished product!
Well let me just say that this day was extremely hard on your mama. I cried and cried and cried, but I know you were by my side the whole time. You know what's funny? Some friends came along with us and there were mosquitos EVERYWHERE...I didn't get ONE mosquito bite when all our friends (including your Daddy) got bit all over...when we got in the car my friend was talking about the mosquitos and said you must have been by my side telling the mosquitos "don't bite my mama!" I laughed and I completely agree with her! You didn't let those mosquitos bite your mama, so I thank you for that baby girl! You know I don't need any more of those irritating and itchy bites :) You're so good to your Mama!
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From Michelle :)
From Amanda :)
I hope you like your candles Leila.
Oh another thing...SO many of your angel friends' mamas made me SO happy today. They were thinking of us and lit a candle for you today! That's how special you are mamas! Here are a few pictures of our friends that lit a candle for you...
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From Katie :)
From Ann & Alyssa :)
From Marissa :)
From Michelle :)
From Amanda :)See how loved you are baby girl?! It makes me SO happy to know that so many people had you in your thoughts today. You are SO special and I can't tell you how proud I am of you. Oh and you know your mama had to light some candles for you too. Here are a couple pictures...
I hope you like your candles Leila.
Just because this day has come and gone doesn't mean that I will EVER stop missing you. Your mama is ALWAYS thinking about you and I will miss you always and forever. You will always be my first-born...I know I will have more kids someday but you and I...we have a special relationship baby girl...that can never be replaced and I hope you know that. You mean the world to me!
I LOVE YOU SWEETIE!!!
6 comments:
Thinking of you and Leila...
I know how hard yesterday must have been. There's nothing I can say to make it "better".
That is a cute story about the mosquitos - I'm sure your baby girl had a hand in that.
((Big Hugs))
What a sweet letter to your baby girl. You created a special day for her and the bit about the mosquitoes is so cute. As you said, you will always have a special bond with her.
Thinking of you & sweet Leila. I love her candles. :)
I have a picture to add to this when you feel like editing it :) I did light one for her, but I was really slow on uploading it. Happy 2nd special birthday Baby Girl!! Good call on the mosquitoes. Today was hard enough, it's a good thing you kept your Mama comfortable!
the candles came our beautiful.....there is something so special about a candle lit for an Angel that makes me feel peaceful...I am glad you went to see your baby, that will bring you the peace you need, even with the tears, its a sense of closeness to her that makes you feel better after you go...PS...Dragon flies EAT mosquitos so maybe THAT is why you didnt get bit, she was really protecting you and having her dragon flies all around you...even if you didnt see any SHE WAS there..it breaks my heart to know you cried all day, and at the same time I am glad to hear you did...it will help your healing...all those tears are liquid love that you shed for your daughter....I say the same about Alyssa NO ONE will ever be my number one like she was...she is special to me as well...no matter if i have 200 rainbows...she was and will always be my first daughter just like leila for you xoxo...you have gotten past another milestone Kalia...this is a big step in your process...so proud of you!
Thank you guys SO much :D
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