Going private soon, send me emails!

I'm making my blog private soon. If you'd like to keep reading you can send me an email at kalialani.cruz@gmail.com with your email address, message me on facebook.com/Kalialani or just comment with your email address on this post.

Just like that

The world comes crashing down on me again...just like that. Grief has ahold of me today. Nearly 3 years later and this news still affects me just as it did when I first lost her. I thought I could handle it, but I can't. I try to be happy for others but my grief just won't let me. Just like that I'm back at square one trying to sort out my feelings and come to a conclusion. One of these days I just want to be at peace with everything and everyone around me. I hate this feeling of jealousy, envy and just pure sorrow. At the end of the day I have to realize I still don't have my baby and it will be long before I ever do again. She's never coming back no matter how hard I wish it to be true. No matter how hard I try to stay positive I just can't see the light at the end of this tunnel. It hurts so bad I can't even describe the pain I feel. All the love in the world couldn't make me feel better today...and that fucking sucks. Days like these I wish I could just sit at her grave and wail so loudly and forget the fact that people think I should have moved on by now. I just need to be near her. My heart aches today...so bad. On that note I have nothing more to say...