Unfair

Today I went into Babies R Us to delete my baby registry. Sad day. The lady asked me my name and my voice cracked as I spelled it to her. She didn't ask any questions...only said it was done, but I wished she had. I felt like the couple next to me was staring at me...even if they weren't. I didn't even look at them but if I did and if they gave me a look of sympathy, I surely would have had a breakdown. I had to go to the bathroom so I walked to the back of the store past all of the adorable baby clothes and beautiful wooden cribs that I should have been looking through right now. Instead I'm trying to figure out something to do on Leila's due date in memory of her. Life is SO unfair. I'm still in denial. I've tried to be positive but I just feel like a completely different person. Oh speaking of different people...my "best friend" 'D'...the girl who didn't try to come to the hospital to see me or Leila until the day she died...then said she promised she was coming to the March for Babies to show her support..never showed, never called, text, emailed...nothing...yea her. Anyways, I was angry...still am, so I decided to message her. YUP I did it. I was a bitch and when she reads it she will probably cry. I didn't call her a BITCH like I wanted to, I just told it like it was and how she wasn't there for me and basically she's hella fake (not in those words exactly), and that she wasted my time trying to be friends with me again (because we had a big falling out before but tried to be friends again). I wasn't in the wrong trust me, I just finally got what I wanted to say to her off my chest. I'm SO tired of tip toeing over every one else's feelings and I got so tired of it that I just had to. Anyways even if I don't get a response from her I won't care, at least I said what I had to say.