Happy 6 months my daughter!

Today is...blah. I can't believe 6 months have passed since my baby girl was born. It just seems so surreal. I have a daughter, yes but I don't feel that way at all. I find myself going out of my way to let everyone know I do have a daughter. I can't believe this is my daily goal. Each day I hope one more person asks about her. Each day I pray someone will look at my necklace and ask me if those are my baby's footprints. Why can't I just be taking care of a 6 month old rather than worry about what everyone else thinks? Keeping her memory alive is all I have anymore. There's nothing I can do to bring her back, I can only fight to keep her memory alive. I honestly feel like there is no hope. I never knew I could love so intensely until she came into my life and now that she's gone I feel like there's nothing else to live for. My feelings of loneliness only continue to get stronger. I hate this :(

Leila,

6 months ago you were born the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen. I knew we had a little fighter on our hands. I know you would have given me tons of trouble growing up but I admit I would have loved every bit of it. I would do anything to have more moments with you, to watch you grow into a toddler, a young girl, a teenager, an adult...*sigh* every moment with you I am missing out on and it kills me. I wanted to walk you down the aisle with your daddy when you got married. I wanted to have dinner every night with you and my grandchildren. It's like your whole life flashed before my eyes before I even got a chance to get used to the fact that you're my baby. I love you and I miss you more than I can bear right now. Please visit me in my dreams baby girl.

Love,
Mommy