No direction

This post is going to be ALL over the place because I have WAY too many things going on in my head lol...well first, I got all A's this term! :D YAY! I'm honestly SO surprised but VERY happy I did it!

Christmas

We finished our tree finally! Well I guess this was last weekend, but we had been putting it off for so long because of finals and just not having any time. But I'm proud to say it's done and I love it! I got an L for Leila :) I wanted to make dragonfly ornaments and add them to our tree but again, no time. BUT next year they will be there for sure!

Family

I'm just not sure how to put this other than, I'm REALLY angry at my family. NOT my immediate family but just others throughout my family...a cousin here, a cousin and an uncle there...*sigh* So, first story, my cousin (who is SO irresponsible by the way) got his girlfriend knocked up and she was due a couple months after me. She had her baby nice and healthy YAY for them...well then I just found that she is pregnant AGAIN!...Their son is 3 months old and she is expecting another one. They do NOT take care of their child now...have they never heard of BIRTH CONTROL?! They're living with my Grammie and sucking her dry. She is retired and should be enjoying her retirement but instead has to raise her great grandchild and now another on the way...AND not to mention my poor Aunt had a stroke a couple years ago and has to be taken care of 24/7. SO that means my Grammie has to take care of her own daughter, her grandchild and his girlfriend and now BOTH of their babies. I can't believe this. Is there anyone in charge of giving people babies? Because if there is I'd like to have a talk with them. This is just ridiculous and it really upsets me. p.s. I'm NOT saying they're not allowed to have children but c'mon...at LEAST be able to take care of yourselves and the one child you HAVE before you bring another child into this world. It's just sad. I know so many women who deserve to bring their children home and just don't get the chance too. They have done/do everything right and still there's no way to avoid their children dying :'( ...........On another note, I'm not really sure what to think of my Uncle and his family. He was the one who lectured me when he found out I was pregnant and then said nothing when Leila died. Absolutely nothing. Well this Friday my little cousin, who I think is 17 is singing in the Christmas choir and wants me to go support her. I know "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" but I just can't get myself to go. It really hurts my feelings that none of them came to Leila's funeral nor did they call or even send a card. I'm not looking for pity, I guess all I wanted was an "I'm sorry for your loss". I want to feel like they care about Leila. I guess even in death I feel like I need to come to my own daughter's defense. I don't want her to be forgotten by ANYONE, especially not my family.

Mail

I got mail!! Well I did AND Leila did :) Leila got a Christmas card from her Auntie Ann and cousin Alyssa. It is SO adorable by the way. I haven't had my camera lately so I'm not able to take pictures yet, but I'll edit this post and add them later. :) Thank you SO much Ann and Alyssa. We love you both SO much and are SO grateful for having you two in our lives. Her Christmas card really means a lot to me and I couldn't be more happy to receive it. p.s. this is her FIRST and probably ONLY Christmas card she will get this Christmas. :'( so when I say it really means a lot to me that you and Alyssa thought of her, I truly mean it. I love you guys!

I also got a birthday card in the mail! My birthday was November 21st but I think it was a little late because it was sent from Belgium! Can you believe that?! How sweet is that to send a card to someone who's not even in the same country? THAT just melted my heart. I'll include a picture of the card later. Thank you SO SO MUCH Rubia!! You can follow her journey at rubiadejimani.livejournal.com. She lost her sweet baby girl Yael @ 38 weeks (stillborn but STILL born) She is currently prego with rainbow so PLEASE all your thoughts and prayers with Yael's little brother or sister.

Well I think that is all for today. If you got this far then GREAT, if not I completely understand :)