March for Babies breakfast

I haven't written here in a REALLY long time...too long...so here goes nothin'.

I'm pretty sure I told you all about my internship with March of Dimes...well yesterday there was a family breakfast and so I went. I was extremely nervous because I knew I'd be exposed to pregnant bellies galore and babies who had survived the NICU. In fact there was a pregnant woman sitting right next to me. This was her first. She was talking about how scary it is when her little boy didn't move around for a while. I put my head down and tried to ignore it. It hurt. She had never gone through a loss. She told me she joined March for Babies through her job and has been walking ever since. I thought that was sweet of her though. Another lady came and sat next to me...I'm glad she did. She seemed much more friendly and willing to hold a conversation with me. She asked why I started walking and I told her I do it for my daughter. I gave her the short version of our story and she told me how sorry she was. She then told me, "well, I can empathize." My head perked up and I was eager to hear her story. Finally, someone associated with this organization that I can talk to and be open with. Her daughter's name is Audrie. She is her second child and only daughter. She was perfectly healthy and born at 38 weeks. Somehow the cord ripped about 10 minutes before she was born and deprived her of blood flow which in turn deprived her of oxygen. She was almost 8 pounds...perfectly healthy :( I can't imagine. She was SO close and that damn cord ripped. :'( I cried. We shared a bond at that moment. She was so kind and willing to listen. She was eager to show me the picture of her daughter and I was eager to see. I know the feeling of wanting to share my daughter with the world. Audrie was absolutely beautiful. It's been almost 2 years since she died, so D (we'll call her) is further along in her grief, "healing", "coping"...whatever you want to call it. We talked for the longest time about all the stupid shit people say. We had a good laugh about it. There were a few key speakers talking about the research they've done, as well as a father who told the story of two of his sons survival. Me and D cried after hearing that story too...you'd think they'd provide boxes of kleenex for us...but nope. The table next to us sat a woman and her daughter who survived prematurity. D looked at me and said, "it's bitter sweet, huh?" I cried and laughed at the same time. She knew exactly what I was thinking and I'm sure the whole morning we both had the same thoughts running through our heads. Needless to say we made sure to get each other's contact information before leaving. She told me I could call her at any time if I ever need/want to talk, or anything. I'm so happy I met her. She also invited me to come to grief counseling. Her husband and her will be going, since February is such a hard month for them...Audrie's birthday. She would have been 2 years old this month. :'( Please pray for another year to be gentle on them.

I'm actually excited for March for Babies this year. D gave me the number to a place where she has hook up for team t-shirts. I'm going to create a new design for this year's shirts, so that will be fun. This time Leila's picture will be on those. Oh that reminds me, yesterday Mustafa came home with part of my Valentine's day present. It was a sweatshirt that he got custom made to say Team Leila. You know those stands in the middle of the mall that spray paint designs on them? Well that's where he got it done and it's so cute! :) He even put a little dragonfly on the back. I'll add pictures later when I get home.

Well I'm going to break these posts up since I don't want them to be completely all over the place.

Thinking of all of you mamas!