Why do the good die young?

I haven't posted here in a long time but I wanted to do a quick update...hopefully quick

On May 26th my mom and I were called and told my Uncle was in the ICU. He had just undergone kidney surgery and had some heart problems during the surgery. We rushed to Washington as fast as I could where we spent three of some of the longest days of our lives. There was always someone holding my Uncle's hand at all times. On May 28th my cousin asked me if I wanted to hold my Uncle's hand. I sat next to my Uncle held his hand and rubbed it hoping he would wake up and smile at me but he was under a medically induced coma and couldn't do anything like that even if he wanted to. The nurse noticed something wasn't right and checked for a pulse, they couldn't find it. We were told to leave the room while they tried to get him back. The minutes seemed like days. We finally were called back into the room but were told that with all of the cardiac arrests he'd had the past few days, the strain on his heart was too much to handle now. As a family, we decided we had put him through too much the past few days. He went to heaven on May 28, 2011 around 7pm. That was the day after my Tutu's (his sister) 9 year angelversary. This would be the second death in my family after Leila. I can't even begin to tell you the hurt I feel after the death of my Uncle Kimo. I never thought this day would come so soon. I was JUST with my Uncle a couple weeks before...I don't understand why the good die young...

When my Tutu died my Uncle kind of took over as the "dad" and "grandmother/father" my mom and I were missing in our lives. He was with us through every important event in our lives...and even the not so important ones. He was there when Leila was born. He drove 3 hours each way just to see me and Leila. He brought dinner to the hospital for the whole family. He was there when Leila died. He was there for weeks afterwards. He was always there. My heart is still so heavy...especially for my cousins and auntie who are now missing a Daddy and Husband. He was the best Daddy anyone could ever ask for...I just can't believe he's gone...and I was the last person to hold his hand while he was still alive :(

His funeral was almost 2 weeks after. For the last two funerals I recited the Lord's Prayer in Hawaiian. This one I would do the same. It brought me all the way back to 9 years ago when I first recited it at my Tutu's funeral. I couldn't keep my composure. This time was the worst as far as anticipating the funeral. I was so nervous I could vomit. To get up in front of hundreds (yes there were hundreds) of people at his funeral and recite the Lord's Prayer in Hawaiian...I didn't know if I could do it. I prayed so hard beforehand for Leila and my Uncle to give me strength. I got through it just fine. I almost felt numb during the whole funeral. It was a beautiful service if there ever was one.

Now it's almost been a month and it hasn't gotten any easier. I watch my cousins as they sit quietly thinking about my Uncle and why this has all happened to him. I know the feeling. I would never wish this on anyone but I wonder why him? I'm going to be honest...why couldn't God take someone else? Someone who has done nothing but torment my family endlessly and laugh in our faces when someone we love so much dies? :( I just don't understand...

I'll leave with that...

Leila,

I can't tell you how jealous I am that most all of my favorite people are now in Heaven...I wish I was there with you all. I know you guys are all happy & healthy and I can't imagine you guys miss it down here...but I miss you all. Please give Uncle Kimo the biggest bear hug from me and tell him I miss him so much. I miss all of you. I love you all to pieces and hope that someday we will all be together again. I love you my sweet baby.

Love,

Mommy